Feeling sick and sad

These few days, I have been feeling very lousy. Both Tony and I were down with cold after coming back from Hawai'i. We are still in a state of recovery. Both been to the doctor and I was very upset that that the doctor did not prescribed us any medication at all except a course of pre prescribed antibiotics. The doctor did a swab test for me and said that if the result is positive that I will have to take the antibiotic that he has pre prescribed for us. It was ridiculous..Tony has been  coughing badly and instead of giving some cough medicine, he said his cough may take a month to heal. As for me, I got a sore throat and running a slight fever, he did not prescribed me any lozenges or paracetamol. This will never happen in Singapore. He was the worst doctor I have seen. Luckily, I do have some medicines brought over from Singapore.

Besides being sick so many things have happened. My mum needs to go for an operation to remove her gallbladder as there is a tumor growing there. It has to be removed to test if it is cancerous. And if it is positive, she will have to undergone another operation...I am so worried and sad. I have been trying hard to control myself. It isn't easy. I have looking for jobs out here and had sent out many resumes but so far no response, I am giving out hope of finding a job here in Auckland. The job market here seems to be bad here. I don't think I can survive without here a job here I really need to work as I am feeling very depressing without one. No friends, lost touch of the world and if one day I will to return to Singapore, how can I return back to fit into the society. My mum needs my attention now, so if I decided to go back I can find a job back in Singapore and at the same time look after her and my son but what will happened to Tony here? We spoke the other day on these issues, both of us cried  we were both at a lost and felt so stressful. He said that he is a survivor and will survive...but in my heart I felt so terrible and sad and I was in a dilemma. What is my life so sad and full of challenges/obstracles? What am I going to do? I am so torn apart and still trying to see how to solve it. It may seem to be simple to resolve but I still have other issues on hand too....Hope God and Love will see us through...