Goodbye Auckland!

 

It has been 3weeks since I returned from Auckland. It was meant to be a home trip for Chinese New year but this was a trip to return for good. It was an extremely hard decision,  harder than when I first made the decision to go. Whenever I think of it I just can't control my tears. I am really at a lost and my heart broken  I really really miss Tony so much and I started to break down every night thinking of him. I hate myself for doing this to him, but I dunno what else to do...I wish someone can tell me and give me a perfect solution.

 

Back at home when I see my aging mum my heart feels for her and felt I made the right decision. .then the thought of Tony makes me feeling sad again ditching him all by himself....

 

I still text and call him as often as I can,  I wanted to do that every day..however the thought of him, the message I wrote, sent and received were packed full of emotional. Tear will start streaming nonstop. My emotional is hard to control..how can I let go (him). We have been together for 4years and stayed together for almost 3 years.  My love for him is deep and genuine. .it is only till now I realised how deep my love was for him. We have to part due to unforeseen situation and not because we no longer love one another. ..because of that it is not easy to let go. .

I am really breaking down slowly day by day. ... .I really miss you Tony and love you too. He is much a wonderful,  caring and lovely. I can't ask for more, he wanted me to be happy letting me go as we really have no choice. No word can describe how sorry I am and noone can understand what I am going through now. Tears are words heart can't say!

I love you Tony and really miss you!   You know  that and you will always be in my heart and forever!

 

Another chapter of my life is closed with fond memories, painful heartbreak and scar for life!

 

Hope I am given the strength to overcome this.....