Monday, November 22, 2010

9th November 2010

On 9th November, we made a major decision which will impact both of our lives. Since then both of us have been feeling very devastated and at a lost. We are still trying to cope and it is going to be very difficult and a tough journey ahead. Emotional drained and don't know what our future will be like after this. I am still in a state of denial though the decision has been made, I am still staying positive hoping that my prayer will be answered soon. My life is really full of obstacles and challenges and is wondering when will all these come to an end..how much longer must I go through all these...do all these make me stronger?? I am not sure, I know I can overcome it but somehow I just don't feel like as I am tired of these. I may become stronger each time, it lays ground for more obstacles ahead.....

One more week to go and my life chapter here will end..I really dunno what to expect when I go back. Starting a new life again? I am not very hopeful things will be better just keeping my fingers crossed. What will happen to Tony then? He is the most wonderful man I have ever man, he has a BIG heart and unselfish and has given me everything. He will be lonely again. It is going to be hard on him and what did I give him in return? Nothing but hurt ,suffering and loneliness..by leaving ,though we know that we have no choice and no control over what has happened. Both of us never expected the situation has turned against us in such a short period of time. We are both in a state of agony and have been trying really hard controlling our feeling in front of one another...but it is really hard...tears just flow...even now I am blogging. We love one another but because of unforseen circumstances, we really have to part and we are left without choice. Extremely sad and lost which has affected my moods to blog.  I wish I could stop the clock now.
 

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